Back In The Game

I had my last hand in on Friday, which also happened to be the penultimate essay that I will EVER hand in at University. Amazing. So, as a treat, I got myself a beautiful Gingerbread Latte and some fruit loaf from Starbucks! I know they're everywhere, and I do try to buy myself prizes from local businesses where possible, but when it gets to this time of year, I just cannot resist a Triple Grande GBL.

Not only that, but I had a very special visitor this weekend, as the best treat of all. Miss Mop came to stay! It was always going to be interesting, but nothing could have prepared me for the hilarity she had in store.

Firstly, she arrived and I took her for her first ever GBL. She had never had one before. Like, never. Mental! Then, we went to the National Museum of Scotland and got dressed up! They actually have period costumes for you to try on. I'm pretty sure only the kids are meant to do it, but I was treating myself so what the hell?!

We then met up with our friends for lunch in Teviot, one of Edinburgh University's student union buildings, where she asked me what "shitcake mushrooms" were. Then we hit the town!

Mop was on form all night, but it was only on the way home that things took a turn for the unbelievably hilarious. I refused to let her get a cab. We would have waited for one in the rain for at least twenty minutes, by which time, if we just walked, we could have been home and cradling a brew in bed. Mop was not pleased, especially when I told her that she was not allowed to remove her shoes while we walked up a cobbled alleyway in the dark for fear of her contracting some horrendous disease by stepping on a discarded I-don't-know-what.

I eventually allowed her to do so when we got onto the main road, and only if she was careful. When we eventually got home, my outraged visitor let rip! Not only did she lay into the fact that I had made her walk home, she even began laying into the food served in Teviot, exclaiming, "Bloody students! That's the last time I ever let a student cook for me!" Brilliant.

Here were some other gems:

"I don't believe this. I come to Edinburgh, I get AIDS in my feet. I've got AIDS feet. It's not funny."

"Edinburgh changes at night. There was no talk of AIDS at Cafe Rouge."

"Stevie, stop tweeting. Your blog's good, but this Twitter. I don't agree with it! At least on Facebook you can play Farmville."

Perhaps you had to be there, but I'm still laughing now!