Scruffy, stubborn and homeless.

Employment, or lack thereof, is the only thing I think about at the moment. I'll probably start to blog about it quite often because, let's be honest, I have bog all else to do.

I finished my job as a Sabbatical Officer over a month ago and have been in a state of constant despair ever since. I have lost count of the number of jobs I've applied for and have only been interviewed for two, both of which I was highly qualified to do yet neither of which I got.

I'm claiming Job Seekers Allowance, and they're not kidding with the 'allowance' part. It's barely enough to buy food for the fortnight. Feeling horrendously sorry for myself, and actually a little teary, I was brought crashing back down to this earthly hell with a bump in the Job Centre when listening to some of the conversations around me. As bad as my situation was, it could definitely be worse. There was a lad opposite me telling the advisor that he had finished college but couldn't get a job, and a middle-aged woman beside him having her eligibility to claim called into question because she'd taken voluntary severance. (That's hardly the same as jacking it in, is it?)

Whatever happens, however bad it gets, I expect with a degree from Edinburgh and bags of work experience, I'm in a better position than either of those two. Not much consolation, but a bit of perspective at least.

It gets worse, though. Later in the week I realised that I have to move out of my flat. I love my flat and I love my flatmate. This is the only place I've had in Edinburgh where I've been happy to stay beyond the one academic year. I've actually been here now for over two years, but no job = no money = no home.

I don't actually know where I'm going to go. I'm relying on the kindness of friends and hoping that I find a job soon so I can get back on my feet, but going through all of this has really made me question what the hell other people do in this situation.

What do you do when you have no job and you can't pay your rent? I'm lucky enough to have friends who don't mind me staying with them for a little while until I get sorted, and if worst came to absolute worst, I could move back in with my mum, though that would mean sharing a bed with her, which is probably a bit much at my age!

Being unemployed, skint, losing my home, having to sell things that I own and love, having to impose upon my friends, having to listen to people "advising" me on what they see as the best career path for me without any regard for what I am actually good at or what would make me happy and feeling that they have every right to do so because I'm claiming jobseekers... all of this is shit, but what if I didn't have friends ranting at me, or letting me sleep on their couches? What if I had nothing to sell? Where would I go? What the hell would I do?

Doesn't bear thinking about.